anatomy of a french dinner

I thought I knew what to expect when I was invited for dinner in a french home. Isn't it the same as in the US?  Come at 7:00, hors d'oeuvres before the meal, dinner, dessert, coffee, au revoir.  Right?  Not exactly.


The first time we were invited over to a french home, it was for an apéritif, which I thought meant a quick drink with an hors d'oeuvre or two.  I found out later that what I was actually invited to was an apéritif dinatoire.  What I was told at my French Conversation group (after the fact) is that an apéritif dinatoire is what you invite someone to if you want to invite them over, but don't want to host an entire dinner for them.  Sort of like when you go on a first date with someone, you meet them for coffee rather than go out to dinner.  To test the waters, I guess.  Anyway, in reality, what I have found is that an apéritif dinatoire is just an excuse to invite someone over and feed them every delicious thing you can imagine that is bite sized, in course after course after course, with champagne and wine in between.  But it's not a dinner.  Because with dinner you get cheese and dessert.

cheese comes near the end of dinner

If you are lucky enough to be invited to a french home for dinner, you are usually invited for 8:00.  That's a lot later than dinner is usually hosted in the States.  Before dinner, they'll often offer you a glass of champagne or wine and maybe some nuts.  After awhile, you'll move over to the dinner table and the first course will be served, also known as the entrée (which, by the way, is not an entree.)  The entrée is often fish, but not always.  If you look around at the end of the first course, you'll notice that every french person has a perfectly clean plate in front of them.  They use their bread to wipe the plate in preparation for the next course.  No one told me about this custom, which by the way, you wouldn't do in a fine restaurant (I've been advised).  If you are not french, like me, and your plate is really dirty, they'll give you a new one for the next course.  And that's okay.  No big deal.  Don't be embarrassed.  Anyway, the second course is usually the plat, what we would call an entrée.  You can clean your plate or not, but get ready because the salad and the cheese are next!  After the salad and cheese comes dessert, which amazingly is called "dessert."  Then coffee or tea, a tisane, or an infusion (which we would also call "tea" even though there is no "tea" in them.)


If you are all having a really great time and if you are not driving, the host will pull out a special bottle of some home made brew that is stronger than you can imagine.  This has happened to us twice.  The first time, our friend Olivier went to a big wooden trunk that looked like a treasure chest and pulled out a round bottle of liquor that looked like it had been sitting on the bottom of the sea.  It was made with pears and it was GREAT!  The second time was with Mylène and Jean at their home in the country.  Jean pulled out a bottle of french gnôle, a 50+ year old prune liquor that was made by Mylène's grandfather.  Check out the bottle!

can you see the hunter with rifle and game in the bottle?

Other Observations
I have never seen a french person get up to go to the restroom at someone else's house.  Never at a dinner party, never at a party, never at french conversation.  Whenever we have people over, Christopher cleans the bathroom in preparation and then says, "The bathroom is now clean so that NO ONE can use it!"


In France, this is what a table setting usually looks like:

french table setting

Notice that the fork is placed tines down.  This is because King Louis XIV was tired of having his lacy cuffs snagged on the forks when he sat down for dinner.  Cool, right?  I always set the table with the tines down now, but Gaius goes to each place setting and flips them over the "english" way.  I have to keep reminding him that he SPEAKS english but is NOT ENGLISH.  Not that there's anything wrong with that.


I hope this has prepared you for the next time you are invited over to a french home for dinner.  (special nod to Jackie, Tony, Bonnie & Ed)


à bientôt!

easter bells

Apparently, the Easter Bunny does not visit children here in France.  I'm not saying that the Easter Bunny does not exist.  No worries.  Of course s/he does.  Just not here in France.  So, no easter basket filled with candy and toys on Easter morning.  Check.


In France, to mourn the death of Christ, the church bells stop ringing on Good Friday.  They say that the bells have flown off to Rome, perhaps to visit with the Pope.  When the bells return on Easter morning, they ring to celebrate Christ's resurrection.  And, they bring chocolate with them.  From Rome.  So, I guess we'll head straight out to the garden on Easter morning to see what chocolate is hidden there.  Cool!

easter bells

It will be very interesting decorating eggs this year.  All of the eggs here are brown.  My American friend Tia mentioned this to me and said she wondered what brown eggs would look like, colored.  I told her the eggs will look just the same, just uglier.


There are no plastic eggs here in France.  Isn't that refreshing?  Of course, I searched and found some plastic ones, filled with Play-Doh.  You know, to hide around the house just for fun.  :)


Also, there is no ham here for Easter dinner.  Sure, they sell ham in France.  But not maple glazed, spiral cut ham.  What they sell here is more like prosciutto.  Or else it is sliced really thin, like for sandwiches.  No whole hams here.  So, I will be making lumpia and an asparagus tart, something like this:

two year old asparagus tart

And, I am contemplating making lamb, although I've never made that before.  If you have an easy recipe, please send it my way!


On Easter, we will be headed into Paris for a Message Paris Easter Egg Hunt.  Since the Easter Bunny does not come here to France, this network of English-speaking parents that I belong to has decided to hide eggs for our kids to find.  It should be a lot of fun!


In honor of Easter, here is the only joke I know in French (which is actually a joke for English speakers):


Qu'est-ce que c'est la Pâques?


C'est une bonne idée.  (Bunny Day, get it???)


à bientôt!

a little more conversation

On Tuesdays and Fridays, I often go to my French Conversation group.  We meet at various homes of the animatrices (facilitators) who volunteer for AVF (Accueil des Villes Françaises).  I usually catch a ride with my friend Esther.  Her daughter, Lise is in the same class with Gaius.  Right after conversation, we rush back to the school together to pick up our kids.

my buddy, Esther

You can meet people from all over the world at Conversation Française.  They come from the Netherlands, Greece, Spain, the Philippines, America, Great Britain, Brazil, Russia, Lithuania, Iran, China, Japan, Australia and Germany... the list goes on and on!

french conversation today

representing the Netherlands, the UK and Greece

new friends

One exciting part about going to French Conversation is that I actually get to see the inside of real French homes.  French bathrooms have the tiniest sinks, about the size of a drinking fountain!  Once, the group was held at the home of someone who had an actual bidet in the powder room.  What's the etiquette for using the bidet at someone's home?  Do you have to be an overnight guest?  Is it there just for show?  It seems like it would be bad form to use it during a meeting of French Conversation.

cute tiny sink #1

my favorite tiny french sink

At French Conversation, they usually serve coffee, tea and pastries.  They also always have actual sugar to serve with the coffee.  I think a lot of people here use sugar rather than the artificial stuff.  They have really cute sugar in France.  Different shapes like hearts, diamonds, clovers (card party, anyone?).  I found these at la Grand Epicerie.  Sugar shaped like the monuments of Paris!

so sweet, but pricey!

pastry spread at French Conversation today

look at the cute sugar cube

I have recently partially achieved a personal goal.  Sometimes, I am able to drink my coffee black.  I've always been somewhat impressed by people who take their coffee black.  I think they get taken more seriously than those who add cream.  Is it just me?  

Sometimes, there are special events at French Conversation.  Once, we had a special tour of a local patisserie.  Another time, we all had a chance to make crepes.

making crepes

Today, we learned about Easter in France and the history of bells.  ???  I know.  You never know what you'll get when you show up to French Conversation!

Going to the group has really improved my French and knowledge of French culture.  If you love holidays, France is the place to be!  It has also been a great way to meet new people.  Heading home back to Williamsburg soon.  Is anyone interested in being in a French Conversation group with me???

à bientôt!